Is it possible?

How can I be like this?
I'm always wanting a kind of attention that nobody is able to give me...
Long time ago I didn't need it this way, however now I cannot live without everything I have ever known
Have you ever felt betrayed because of normal people attitudes?
For example: a "good bye" not said on a cold day... Or when people are tired and are not wanting to talk about anythig... Than you feel like a rock in the middle of the person's way... Like you were disturbing his life walk... All of this because of a "tiresome day".
What about someone you can't help?
What when you say something that you really care, but nobody pays attention...
What when you are to be crazy because you want to tell some new to someone, or when you just want to say "Hello!", and when it happens, you just think: is it everything? No smiles, no screams, nothing more?
It all hurts me!

Day-by-day it's becoming worst and worst... And I never know what to do but cry more and more...

I need hours to talk, I need my phone ringing, I need someone calling me in my gate, showing me how wonderful is to know I'm alive, how nice is to look at my smile...
I want someone who could do this without need me to ask for...
I want someone that does everything to stay beside me...

Everybody deserves this, why cannot I have?
Why cannot I show how I care about my friends?
Why no one more asks me how was my day or how have my life been?
How much time I'll need to live like this?
Everyone find someone to stay together, why not me?
Oh yes, there are some people who say I'm nice... Other ones say I'm the most wonderful, but they never show me this...

Words...
Only words...
I don't want to care anymore...
I just want to believe words...
I just want to deceive and convince myself that life is all this superfluous feelings that we feel when we fall in love for someone...

I'm always flying away without find a place I can stay forever...
And all I know is that I'll never do it...
Just because I'm not able to accept big changes in relations...

Where are the true friends that everybody has?
Where are the biggest love proofs we have had months ago?
Where are the calls, the letters, the beautyful words?

Today, they are only words...

And I'm so afraid to suffer everything again that I don't want to fly away this time...
What makes me bad is to feel this things and have no more forces to fight against all of them...

Could you please fake you care?
Or move away, stop conquering me and going away everyday...

I would like to have someone who would do crazy things for me...
Ask me to leave everything and go away to another way, another place...
Someone who wouldn't matter about my mistakes, and didn't know about them...

I want to stay here, without seeing the sun...
Or go to find the one I'm looking for...

Could you please make things easier and stop confusing my mind?
Could you please do something that make me look at you and feel something terrible?

Why do you make me feel so happy with you? Why are doing this?

I want to go...
I want you to come with me!